Friday, 31 August 2012
When Captain Bill was innocent
'...which was why it proved trickier than I imagined,' concluded Captain Bill.
'Right!' replied Queen Phoebe.
'And so to sum up,' continued Captain Bill, 'it clearly wasn't my fault.'
'OK!' said Queen Phoebe.
'And it's also why,' pursued Captain Bill, 'in my opinion, all harbours would be better off having at least two exits...or maybe three...or four.'
'Perhaps I'll have a word with someone when I get back?' replied Queen Phoebe.
'Excellent idea!' said Captain Bill, 'and err.....the stones?'
'Keep them,' replied Queen Phoebe.
'Most generous!' said Captain Bill. 'Not sure we've got much use for them though...perhaps Bertha could sculpt something with them? Incidentally it goes without saying that if Bertha had been doing her job as I asked her to none of this would have happened.'
'I HEARD THAT!' mooed Bertha.
'Although the main responsibility lays with Horace,' added Captain Bill.
'I'LL TELL HIM!' mooed Bertha.
'Several people,' corrected Captain Bill, 'several people, who for the sake of keeping the peace shall remain nameless, but who clearly failed in their duties were responsible...but it wasn't me.'
'So you've said,' replied Queen Phoebe.
'Have I?' queried Captain Bill, 'I wasn't sure...so it wasn't my fault, you're clear about that in your own mind? It wasn't down to me, any of this!'
'I'd just like somebody to help me down,' replied Queen Phoebe.
'Fine!' mooed Captain Bill, 'No problem!..............................I'll go and find Norma.'