Monday, 24 September 2012
Queen versus Captain
'For the last time madame unhoof me!'
'And for the last time they are hands!'
'Then unhoofhand me...I need to steer me ship!
'A bit to port I think!' suggested Queen Phoebe.
'Which just goes to show how little you know madame,' replied Captain Bill, 'you are clearly indicating towards starboliarboliboard! Now who put that ship there? There's a lot of them isn't there! Hey you! Move it! If I hit him it'll be all his fault!
'You just need to turn a little to port,' said Queen Phoebe.
'I think you'll find there's only one captain on this ship!' replied Captain Bill.
'Right!' exclaimed Queen Phoebe. 'That's it!'
'Ah! No! No you don't! Give me back my hat!'
'Queenie's in charge!' replied Queen Phoebe.
'Perhaps everywhere else but not here!' said Captain Bill. 'Now give it back! I could have you thrown in the brig for this!'
'SIT ON HIM!' called out Bertha.
'Nice idea,' replied Queen Phoebe, 'but a tad undignified!'
'YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS!' shouted Captain Bill. 'And you your regalness....shove off!'
'Why I've never....!' exclaimed Queen Phoebe.
'Well in that case it's about time!' replied Captain Bill. 'Now put that cushion down! Put it down!'
'Stand by,' warned Queen Phoebe, 'to repel borders!'
'No!' mooed Captain Bill. 'NO! OW! OW!............................OW!'