'But you cannot steer with your hooves!' said Captain Bill.
'They're called feet!' replied Queen Phoebe.
'Whatever they're called,' replied Captain Bill, 'you cannot steer with them!'
'But I am!' replied Queen Phoebe. 'Look! Steer to the left! Steer to the right! Steer to the left! Steer to the right! It's easy!'
'Would you please refrain from doing that!' mooed Captain Bill. 'Sailing a ship is a serious business.'
'You should try running a kingdom!' replied Queen Phoebe. 'My hubby, I do miss 'im, my hubby has to take about eleventy billion decisions a day! Sometimes before breakfast.'
'No doubt he does,' replied Captain Bill, 'I also expect that he would understand how difficult it is to steer a ship.'
'No!' said Queen Phoebe. 'He would say, 'it's easy my little dove, 'ave a bash yourself if you like?' and then he'd lob a choccie at One. He's like that and he's a very good aim I'll have you know.'
'The point is,' replied Captain Bill, 'everytime you do that you run the risk of putting us off of the carefully calculated course that we are trying to steer.'
'But I've got me knitted thingy for that!' hooted Queen Phoebe.
And for the first time Captain Bill noticed the brand new knitted compass that was hung around the ship's wheel.
'And just where did you get that from?' he asked.
'Your shouty lady,' replied Queen Phoebe, 'I confess I've got no idea how to use it but it is such fun! It wobbles when I steer! See! Steer to the left! Steer to the right! Steer to the left! Steer to the right!'
'Right,' said Captain Bill. 'If anyone wants me...I'll be in my cabin!..........Well...not actually MY cabin...the store room...my store room...I'll be in my....oh, who cares anyway!'
Comments