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When the Queen went sailing


'And then I turn the twirly whirly and the ship goes in a different direction,' said Horace.

'You see Captain Whatsisname made it out to be all so difficult,' replied Queen Phoebe, 'and yet from what you're saying it's as easy as easy could be!'

'Well there may be rather more to it than that,' said Horace, 'I'm not really all that interested in it to be honest.'

'No, I'm sure you've understood it completely,' replied Queen Phoebe. 'You know when you're not reading poetry you're actually not that boring to have around.'

'Er........thanks!' said Horace.

'Now I notice that ship over there is going faster than us so we'll need to speed up.'

'Erm...right,' said Horace, 'I'm not sure I can do that with the twirly whirly? It might be better to ask Norma or Bertha.'

'She's the shouty one?' asked Queen Phoebe.

'Indeed,' replied Horace, 'I think it's just habit.'

'No need to apologise,' said Queen Phoebe, 'One likes a shout myself every now and again. But we will need to go faster. I simply will not have anyone going faster than One!'

'I think it's got something to do with the sheets?' suggested Horace, 'I could go and ask Norma but I'm not supposed to leave where I am.'

'No problem!' replied Queen Phoebe, 'Queenie's here! I'll keep an eye on things, you run along!'

'If you're sure?' said Horace.

'Always!' replied Queen Phoebe. 'If you could just plump a cushion or two before you go though? One does so appreciate a plumped cushion!'

So Horace plumped a cushion or several and then herded off...and Queen Phoebe wondered why she'd never taken command of a ship before...because it was such fun!

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