Monday, 22 October 2012
A quiet word with the Queen
'But One was perfectly alright!' explained Queen Phoebe.
'Er?' replied Norma.
'One was disguised and everything.'
'It's just...' said Norma, 'we were worried about you, that's all.'
'Most kind I'm sure,' replied Queen Phoebe, 'but One don't spend years being a royal personage without learning how to look after One.'
'Possibly,' said Norma, 'but we do feel sort of responsible for you.
'And what would King Otto think if he knew you were wandering about a pirate jamboree?'
'He'd say, smile, smile my dear and be regal and if they get too close punch 'em on the nose!'
'Really?' asked Norma.
'Indeed!' replied Queen Phoebe. 'He's full of useful advice like that. It's why everyone loves 'im so.'
'Still,' said Norma, 'think of how it would look if it got in the press, 'Queenie brawls with pirates', 'Bish bash bosh at royal ruck', 'Uppper crust upper cut creates crew crisis.'
'I rather like the last one,' replied Queen Phoebe.
'Thank you!' mooed Norma.
'But I see your point I suppose,' conceded Queen Phoebe.
'It's just while we're trying to find Flossie and his henchsheep it would be rather useful if they remained unaware that anyone was actually looking for them.'
'Well you needn't have any worries on that score,' replied Queen Phoebe, 'I was the soul of discretion. I can absolutely guarantee you that nobody but nobody will have recognised me!
'Well that's a relief!' said Norma.