Tuesday, 28 January 2014
Harbour Wall 1 Captain Bill 0
'Can't look! Can't look! Can't look! Can't look!' mooed Norma.
'I find,' said Cyril, 'in times like these, when it all gets a bit stressy, nothing helps more than a big spoonful of strawberry trifle.'
'Not for me thanks!' replied Norma.
'I'll finish it off then,' said Cyril. 'Seems a shame to waste it.
So Cyril ate the last spoonful and then the spoon and then the bowl.
'How many hours has he been at it now?' asked Norma.
'Dunno,' mused Cyril. 'Four, four and a half?'
'HARD A STARBOLIABOLIBOARD!' shouted Captain Bill.
'YOU MEAN PORT!' shouted back Bertha. 'And I really don't know why he keeps doing that?'
'What?' asked Norma.
'Shouting out the course corrections,' replied Bertha. 'He's the one doing the steering!'
'I don't think he's ever really understood the connection between the wheel and the rudder,' replied Norma.
'Brace yourselves,' said Bertha. 'He's going to hit it again.'
And the Pickled Heifer caught the harbour wall a glancing blow and swung back around.
'WHO PUT THAT THERE!' shouted Captain Bill.
'Perhaps we could ask Geraldine to intervene?' suggested Norma.
'She's gone to make sure Annie's OK,' replied Bertha.
'Why? What's happened to her?'
'Overboard,' replied Bertha.
'Fallen overboard already?' said Norma.
'She jumped,' replied Cyril, 'before we even got underway. She's far smarter than anyone gives her credit for. Now if I'm not needed and seeing as we are officially at sea I shall go and cook a breakfast or several.'
So Cyril left to cook breakfasts and Captain Bill shouted and Bertha shouted back and Norma kept her eyes tightly shut.
'I've finished this poem,' said Horace.
'Lovely,' said Norma.
'DEATH!' mooed Horace, 'Death and all around the tears of a thousand eyes!'
'Not just now!' said Norma.