Thursday, 2 January 2014

When confetti isn't confetti

'I don't know,' said Norma, 'they seem to remind me of...'

'Confetti?' suggested Captain Bill.

'That's it!' mooed Norma. 'They're almost exactly the same size. It must have taken her ages to glue them all on.'

'Five hours,' replied Captain Bill. 'It would have been less but she insisted on finishing the crossword.'

'She can be very thorough when she wants to be,' said Norma.

'You know she'd had that pot of glue for three years just sitting there waiting?'

'I think I was with her when she bought it,' replied Norma.

'I mean what is wrong with her?'

'I guess she warned you?' asked Norma.

'................She may have,' replied Captain Bill. 'I think I recall her muttering something. It's difficult to remember in the heat of the moment. I tend to zone out when she starts shouting...which let's be honest is most of the time.'

'Perhaps she was just in a bad mood?'

Captain Bill turned and looked at Norma.

'That implies that she's sometimes in a good mood.'

'She usually is with me,' replied Norma.

'Well that's different,' said Captain Bill. 'I think she's always resented my natural air of authority.'

'It can't be easy for her,' replied Norma. 'Now hold still, this next one is glued on very firmly.

'OW!' exclaimed Captain Bill.

'Sorry!' said Norma. 'Oh! It's a part of the crossword...fifteen down.'

'The answer was rope.'

'So it was!' replied Norma. 'Now I'm going to have to leave you to do the rest for yourself if that's OK?'

'I thought you'd finished with the Snowcow?' said Captain Bill.

'I have!' replied Norma. 'But I need to give Horace some time. He's not written anything for weeks now.'

'He should try some limericks,' said Captain Bill. 'I keep telling him.'

'I don't think it's his sort of thing,' replied Norma.

'And you could mention the magazine.'

'Have no fear!' replied Norma.

So Norma went off to help Horace and Captain Bill gingerly picked up the tweezers that Norma had left for him.

'Errrrrrrrrrrrr?' he said.

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