Thursday, 13 February 2014

A Queen at work

'Do you have anything closer to a teal?' asked Norma.

'Well I don't know!' replied Queen Phoebe. 'One don't do this sort of thing on a regular basis.'

'So is the real stall holder around?' asked Bertha.

'Don't ask me!' replied Queen Phoebe. 'One just asked One's guards to make arrangements so One could keep a low profile. I don't know what's actually involved with running the place. One's normally busy doing more queenly things, like waving and closing down homes for poor people.'

'I think you mean opening up?' suggested Norma.

'Whatever,' replied Queen Phoebe. 'The point is that, at the moment, One is fully occupied by the need to recapture escaped pirate sheep...and to keep it out of the papers.'

'I think we'd be happy to put ourselves at your disposal,' mooed Bertha.

'Appreciated,' replied Queen Phoebe. 'Above all we have to protect the reputation of One's dear little hubby, King Otto, don't you just love him, I know you do, One can't help it. Only any whiff of this to the tabloids and it'll be front page time, see pages 3-17, and a colour supplement, you mark my words if it isn't!'

'Any ideas so far?' asked Norma.

'Well I've booked the prison guards in for an eye test and I thought I'd turn to prison field into an allotment but nothing beyond that so far,' replied Queen Phoebe.

'Perhaps Norman will turn something up?' suggested Bertha.

'Indeed!' replied Queen Phoebe. 'Dear, dear Norman, he's such a treasure you know, although not in a monetary, cash back value sense, which is a slight pity but still he is a tireless and dedicated servant who will be remorseless in his pursuit of the criminally escaped. In fact, as One speaks of him, One is reminded that One could do with a word in his shell like.' 

'Are you thinking of sending him on a deadly, top secret, mission?' asked Norma.

'Not really,' replied Queen Phoebe. 'I was just thinking that if he's not turned up anything so far perhaps he could nip back up to the castle and finish doing the windows, they're in a shocking state.'

So Queen Phoebe sent a guard off to find Norman while Bertha and Norma decided what they were going to buy and eventually, after a good long while, got to wondering why Captain Bill was taking so long to straighten his hat.

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