Saturday, 1 February 2014

Thought for food



'So thinking out some sort of plan on where we're sailing to would seem like a good idea,' said Norma.

'Already on it!' mooed Captain Bill.

'By staring through a telescope at the deck of the Pickled Heifer?' queried Norma.

'Yesssssssssssssssssssss,' replied Captain Bill, '...........................it's not working!'

'Wrong piece of deck?'

'Possibly,' replied Captain Bill, 'but it was always a long shot.'

'TEA!' shouted Annie, who had arrived with a small trolley.

'Yes please,' said Norma and Captain Bill.

'And myself and Chef Cyril are now taking orders for breakfasts,' added Annie.

'Two for me please,' said Norma.

'I'll have three,' said Captain Bill, '...............or four.'

'Excellent,' mooed Annie. 'Allow me to take this opportunity to assure you that if we had any breakfasts then that is what I would now go and get you.'

'Had?' said Norma.

Annie nodded and one of her hats fell off.

'I remember us loading three thousand,' continued Norma.

At this point Annie took a small piece of paper out of the hat that had fallen off, unfolded it and read it.

'We were attacked by invisible, eight nosed, twelve armed, breakfast stealing monkeys,' and having finished she held up the paper for Norma and Captain Bill to see and then refolded it, flicked it into the air, caught it on the end of her tongue and swallowed it.

'We've only been at sea for five hours,' sighed Norma.

'They were very quick,' said Annie.'...............................twelve arms!'

'And how did you know they had twelve arms if they were invisible?' asked Captain Bill.

'............................................................................I wish to speak to a lawyer,' mooed Annie.

So Norma went with Annie to check on the breakfast situation and Captain Bill had a look for a better bit of deck.


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