Wednesday, 19 February 2014
Tree moving made easy
'Well that's got it down onto the floor,' said Captain Bill.
'It was easier than I thought,' mooed Horace.
'We had a plan,' replied Captain Bill. 'It's a part of good captaining. Stay calm, think things through. You've got a little soil on the rug but apart from that it went very much as I expected.'
'So how do we get it out of the room?'
Pfffffffffffffff?' replied Captain Bill. 'Actually I think we might just leave it there. I can get Norma or Bertha to move it later on. I really should get myself ready to meet Queen Phoebe.
'I don't suppose it's good form to keep her waiting?' said Horace.
'No,' replied Captain Bill. 'Probably not. Best if I put on the full dress uniform I suppose. Knitted compass, possibly two? A few medals!'
'Do you have any?'
'One doesn't like to boast,' replied Captain Bill. 'And I should make sure that my hat's on straight, royalty tends to notice things like that. Of course she'd have someone to do it for her. Senior Under Cupboard Hat Chamberlain.'
'Mmm! You wouldn't start as that though.'
'No, no, you'd come in as Tassel Page or Junior Hat Box Boy and work your way up. They pass it down through families you know. Somebody told me once that there'd been seventeen generations of left foot toe nail clippers in one royal family alone. Anyway how's the hat?'
'You are a bit to port,' said Horace.
'Does it notice?'
'Well, not if you lean to starboard.'
'I can manage that,' replied Captain Bill. 'Now if you'd like to...do whatever I've been keeping you from, I'll join you shortly.'
So Captain Bill started looking for medals and Horace went out on deck.
Where he found....to his surprise...that he wasn't alone!
(Dear Readers: The Great Pencil in the Sky finds himself having to take an unexpected break. Hopefully chaos will be restored early next week. Thank you!)