Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Undercover Elephant

'Hello Norman!' said Norma.

'I'm afraid I can't answer that Ma'am,' replied Norman.

'Why not?' asked Norma.

'I'm afraid I can't tell you that Ma'am,' said Norman.

'Why not?' asked Norma.

'I'm afraid I can't tell that either Ma'am,' said Norman.

'Well what can you tell us?' asked Bertha.

'Oh! hang on!' replied Norman, 'I've got it written down. I can tell you the time, how to get stones out of horses hooves and the way to the bus station.'

'I didn't think there was a bus station?' said Norma.

'That's what I'm allowed to tell you,' replied Norman.

'Look Norman,' said Bertha, 'you know us. Norma would put up with this sort of thing for hours...I won't. So what's actually going on? There do seem to be an awful lot of guards.'

'I really can't tell you,' replied Norman. 'And I certainly can't tell you that we're trying to cope with a mass brakeout by notorious pirates that the press mustn't under any circumstances find out about...............................I didn't say that by the way.'

'Is it Flossie?' asked Norma.

'I can't answer that Ma'am,' replied Norman but he nodded and his hat....stayed on.

'And how's Queen Phoebe?' asked Bertha.

'Panicking,' replied Norman. 'I was washing the windows when she came running up to me. 'Norman,' she said, 'Norman, there's been a mass breakout by notorious pirate sheep. We mustn't let the press find out or they'll tuck us up a treat. Now get yourself dressed up and go and hang around the docks.'

'And what have you found out so far?' asked Bertha.

'I'm afraid I can't do that punchline Ma'am,' replied Norman.

'Still,' continued Norma, 'it's a brilliant disguise. You blend in very well. I almost didn't realise it was you.'

'NORMAN!!!!!!!!!' mooed Annie from several hundred yards away.

'Lucky guess,' said Norma.

'So,' said Bertha, 'obviously under the circumstances we are at your service. Can you take us to her Majesty?'

Norman took a very long hard look to both left and right.

'Follow me,' he whispered.

'So,' asked Norman as they were walking along, 'got any buns?'

'I'm afraid I can't answer that Sir,'  replied Norma.


Armenoi said...

Norman could so easily be the third 'man' in Monty Python's Comedy Police Force

Gina said...

ooow Norma...such a tease...like they go anywhere without an emergency supply of buns :D XXX