Saturday, 1 March 2014

Bill Vs The Pirate Sheep!



'Har! Har! Har!' bleated Flossie. 'Har! Har! Har! And several other stereotypical pirate type expressions.'

'Shiver me timbers?' suggested Lefty.

'Throw it in,' replied Flossie. 'Never a favourite but it can't hurt, but basically, getting past that, this ship is now ours and I'll keel haul anyone who says otherwise.'

Lefty spoke quietly to Flossie.

'You sure?' asked Flossie.

Lefty nodded.

'OK!' continued Flossie, 'If you insist! Har! Har! Har! Etc, etc. This ship is now ours and I'll speak quite strongly to anyone who says otherwise but only after an initial verbal warning, a second written warning and a full and open grievance procedure has been explored, with a union representative of your choice, if you should so request.'

'Thanks!' said Lefty.

'Takes all the fun out of it!' replied Flossie.

'Still,' said Lefty, 'keeps it legal.'

Captain Bill gave Horace the slightest of nudges.

'Errrrrr?' said Horace.

'What?' asked Flossie.

'Nothing!' said Horace.

'Well actually...' mooed Captain Bill.

'Mmm?' said Flossie. 

And Captain Bill fainted.

Flossie looked from Captain Bill to Horace to Lefty.

'Strictly speaking we do have a duty of care obligation,' said Lefty.

'Fine!' replied Flossie. 'Will it stop us from putting to sea?'

'Not that I'm aware of,' said Lefty.

'Best get on then,' replied Flossie.

And so while a qualified first responder (Slightly Threatening Dave) attended Captain Bill, the Pickled Heifer made for the High Seas.



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2 comments:

Gina said...

OMG.....my hubby actually talks like Lefty har har har :D XXX

Armenoi said...

I think Flossie handles conflict in the workplace amazingly well considering the handicap. What is the definition of a pirate and do they still comply???