Saturday, 22 March 2014

In a pirate accent please



'So, reporting steam driven vessel approaching, quite quickly as it happens, off the Port bow,' bleated Lefty.

'Hmm,' said Flossie, 'not good news. What to do? What to do?...........How about we blow them out of the water! Har! Har! Har!'

'Love to!' replied Lefty. 'Slight problem in carrying that out on the grounds that there doesn't seem to be any cannon aboard.'

'Oh!' said Flossie.

'Or cannon balls.'

'Right,' said Flossie. '..............................Disappointed!'

'We're swinging from the same boarding rope on that one,' replied Lefty. 'Also, can confirm, having had time for a thorough search, no muskets, swords, pointy or otherwise, pistols, daggers or indeed any sort of weapon that your average ship might be expected to carry.'

'Odd!' said Flossie. '....................Other options?'

'Could throw that tree at them?' suggested Lefty.

'Heart's gone out of it,' replied Flossie.

'Well, big island ahead, could steer towards it? See what transpires?'

'Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...OK!' bleated Flossie. 'Other business?'

'Prisoner keeps fainting, Mum's having a nap and Harriet should be back from maternity leave at the end of the month.'

'Not very piratey,' replied Flossie.

'I could repeat it all in a stronger piratey accent?' offered Lefty.

'Hardly worth it,' replied Flossie. '...........Kind thought though.'

'Now, just asking,' asked Lefty, 'not fussing, but are you intending to stay up there?'

'Possibly,' replied Flossie. 'Quite like the view.'

'Any chance we could just put on a safety harness? 

'That would make it less dangerous.'

'Conceded!'

That was, sort of, part of the reason why I got up here in the first place.'

'I promise,' said Lefty, 'very discrete, you'll hardly notice.'

'.........................................................................................If you must?' said Flossie.

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