Monday, 3 March 2014
Moving Royalty quickly
'We're very sorry your Queenship!' panted Norma.
'But we do need to move very quickly,' added Bertha.
'Well One thinks it's a blooming liberty!' exclaimed Queen Phoebe. 'Being carried about like this isn't at all dignified. One normally has properly trained flunkies to do this sort of thing and you haven't even had the kindness to explain what's going on!'
Bertha stopped and put Queen Phoebe down.
'Pirate sheep!' said Norma.
'And they've taken our ship!' continued Bertha.
'And they're heading that way,' Norma finished and she pointed with her tail at the fast disappearing Pickled Heifer.
'Well why didn't you say so earlier!' said Queen Phoebe. 'There haint no time to lose! Onward!'
And so Bertha picked up Queen Phoebe and they all stampeded off in pursuit of Norman, Annie and Geraldine.
'We shall hunt them down!' cried Queen Phoebe. 'They shall have no hiding place. No reasonable expense shall be spared. We will stop at nothing! Although obviously I'd like to keep the fact that they've got clean away out of the press if it's at all possible.'
'We'll do our best,' mooed Norma.
'Although there is one slight problem,' said Bertha.
'What's that?' asked Queen Phoebe.
'That's our ship they've taken,' replied Norma, 'and we didn't bring the Mootilus with us...so...could you lend us something nautical?'
'Ah?????' said Queen Phoebe. '....................Tricky!'
Bertha stopped for a second time.
'Problem?' she asked.
'It's just One has been feeling the pinch,' replied Queen Phoebe. 'There has been a recession. It effects us all don't you know. One hasn't had a new crown in simply hours.'
'It wouldn't have to be King Otto's flagship,' said Norma.
'Just as well,' replied Queen Phoebe. 'One's had it mothballed!'
'Something smaller?' suggested Bertha.
'Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll,' replied Queen Phoebe. 'I guess that depends on just how small you mean?'