Tuesday, 4 March 2014
On the crest of a (legal) wave
'Har! Har! Har! Tiring of it slightly but still,' continued Flossie, 'what are we up to?'
'8 knots,' replied Lefty.
'Har! Ha...Oh I can't be bothered...Tis a fine ship and no mistake!'
'I was thinking we could rename her 'Mint Sauce II'? suggested Lefty.
'Perfect!' said Flossie. 'Now, to other matters. Have the prisoners been thrown into the brig?'
'Well,' replied Lefty, 'couldn't throw them in, might have hurt them but I can confirm that the prisoners have been confined in a space that still allows access to light, water, regular meals, with choice of menu including a vegan option, adequate turning room and an organised program of recreation and exercise. I've skipped the bit about visiting rights because they can't have any seeing as we're at sea.'
'Right,' said Flossie. 'Good! Now, Dave, he seems to have a spoon?'
'Correct,' replied Lefty. 'Basically, had a shufty, no pointy swords, so got him the spoon instead.'
'Good initiative,' said Flossie, 'just not sure it's working for me.'
'Agreed,' replied Lefty. 'Spoke to the lad and we all know it's just a short term measure until we can get the right thing.'
'OK!' said Flossie. 'Probably more slightly threatening with than without. Let's keep an eye on it, see how it goes. Anything else?'
'Well,' replied Lefty, 'I know we've only just left port but it would be useful to put into somewhere asap.'
'One,' said Lefty, 'there doesn't seem to be much food. Two, be nice to sort out the insurance.'
'Sure?' asked Flossie.
'If we hit anything we're up it without a paddle,' replied Lefty. 'There's some good deals out there. I'd shop around anyway, fully comp obviously and the 'no claims' from the original Mint Sauce should be transferable.'
'Soon as we can then,' said Flossie.
And the flock bleated in agreement.
'Oh and there's a tree in your cabin,' added Lefty.
'Weird!' said Flossie.