Friday, 14 March 2014

The cardiovascular cow

'OVERWEIGHT!' mooed Horace.

'You both are,' replied Lefty. 'We're going to have to work on it.'

'But!' said Horace.

'We can start with jogging,' continued Lefty, 'and then work up to using some weights.'

'Weights!' said Horace and Captain Bill.

'Mmm,' replied Lefty. 'Have to improvise a bit though. You've not really got the right right equipment.'

'Perhaps we could skip it all together then?' suggested Captain Bill.

'Can't,' replied Lefty. 'You see, as you're our prisoners, we're responsible for your welfare. If we don't get you fit you could sue us.'

'Maybe we could sign some sort of waiver?' said Horace.

'No, sorry,' replied Lefty. 'Now are you familiar with circuit training?'

'I did some biscuit training once,' said Horace.

'Does it involve laying down?' asked Captain Bill.

'Can't say it does,' replied Lefty. 'Don't worry I'll work out something, try to keep it cardiovascular.'

'Cardiowhatsular?' mooed Captain Bill.

'And we'll have to look at diet as well,' added Lefty. 'One of you mentioned biscuits?'

Horace raised a hoof.

'They're out from now on,' said Lefty.

'But!' said Horace.

'There is a limit,' exclaimed Captain Bill.

'Now look!' replied Lefty. 'It's for your own good and we can do it the easy way, nice and friendly like, but I'm warning you now, start being difficult and I won't hesitate,' and he pointed towards Slightly Threatening Dave.

And Captain Bill fainted...again.

'He keeps doing that!' said Lefty. 'I think I'll mark him down as possibly diabetic and see if we can get some tests done.' 

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