Monday, 28 April 2014

How to spot numptiness



'So! At last you are 'ere,' mooed Camille.

'Indeed!' replied Captain Bill.

'Covered in scratches?'

'Indeed!' replied Captain Bill.

'And smelling of stagnant water?'

'Indeed!' replied Captain Bill.

'..................................Waiting?'

'...................I was fighting dragons.'

'There is like....no....such....thing!'

'That's what I'd always thought,' replied Captain Bill. 'And then, there I was, herding along, thinking about how nice it would be to see you again and I just encountered them.'

'I am suspecting, based on previous situations, that you 'ave encountered nothing more than a fifty hoof high pile of, fire breathing, numptiness!'

'Nice washing!'

'Nice washing?'

'All clean.'

'Washing usually is.'

'I love the smell of clean washing in the morning, don't you?'

'OK! I am, in ma 'ead, trying to measure your attempt to change the conversation of ma feebleometer. Non! It is not even registering!'

'They're tea towels, I think?'

'I may 'ave to ask Bertha to 'it you.

Captain Bill took a step backwards.

Camille sighed.

'Well, as you're 'ere,' she said, 'perhaps you could sort out some of your crew?'

'Err?'

'Firstly, Cyril, who is drinking me and ma little students out of 'ouse, 'ome, cellar and several large fields and also ma petite chum, Norma, who 'as gone on, what is sometimes referred to as, une tres grande bender!'

'Right,' replied Captain Bill. '....You don't want any help with the washing then?'

'N...O...N!'

1 comment:

Armenoi said...

Aren't they just perfect for each other?