Thursday, 3 April 2014

Post pirate sheep disorder

'Fifteen...or was it sixteen? Sixteen! Sixteen of them it took to hold me down,' mooed Captain Bill.

'Really?' said Bertha.

'I was fine up to a dozen,' continued Captain Bill, 'but after that.'

'Sooooooooooooooo brave,' said Norma.

'He kept fainting!' called out Cyril.

'He's confused,' said Captain Bill. 'Post Pirate Sheep Disorder, it's a widely recognised condition.'

'Is it?' asked Bertha.

'I only gave up in the end because I was worried for the others.'

'So thoughtful,' said Norma. 'And after that?'

'I'd rather not say,' replied Captain Bill. 'It was all rather unpleasant. They tried to make me talk.'

'By rubbing cake crumbs into your hat?' said Norma.

'Really,' replied Captain Bill, 'there's nothing to be gained by going back over it. How about yourselves? It must have been difficult without me?'

'It was...different,' said Bertha.

'We did have Geraldine,' added Norma.

'Not the same though,' said Captain Bill.

'We managed,' replied Bertha.

'Still, I'm back in charge now,' said Captain Bill. 'So we can put up the fore mizzan sail and head for home.'

'That's not quite how I see things,' replied Bertha.

'We can't let the pirates get away,' mooed Norma.

'They'll probably turn themselves in,' replied Captain Bill. 'They may well be on their way to do so even as we speak. My psychological domination of them will have made them question their whole future.'

'You're suggesting that are you?' asked Norma.

'Think of it as an expert opinion,' said Captain Bill.

'I know what I think of it,' replied Bertha.

And in the somewhat heated discussion that followed, and to his own surprise, Captain Bill  eventually saw things Bertha's way.

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