Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Progressive education

'And so I found myself thinking, would it really be so wrong to invest all the school funds into buying ma own vineyard?' explained Camille.

'Well?' mooed Norma.

'After all it would still be an 'ighly educational, hooves on, experience for ma little students.'

'True!' said Norma.

'And I certainly, never for a moment, considered them as a source of cheap, 14 hours a day, every 4th weekend off, type labour.'

'Errrrrr?' said Norma.

'And they still get all the usual lessons,' continued Camille. 'Writing? Those bottle labels don't do themselves! Maths? 'ow many bottles can we squeeze out of that barrel? Chemistry? If we add that will we kill anyone? Religion? Let's all pray that their parents don't find out! And all in the 'ealthy outdoors.'

'Right,' said Norma.

'And the physical exercise is a 'no brainer'!'

'You don't think some people might see it all as a bit....immoral?' asked Norma.

'We did discuss that in the philosophy class,' replied Camille. 'Blanche suggested I could make myself feel better about things by giving 5% of the profits to charity.'

'Kind,' said Norma.

'And you can offset it against tax,' added Camille.

'Err......................good!' said Norma.

'That's what I said,' replied Camille. 'I'm thinking if Blanche goes on like that I may 'ave to make 'er a prefect.'

''s nice to see you doing so well.'

Camille stopped walking and stared off across the fields.

'I wish it were,' she replied. 'Between you and me, it's all going 'udders up' at the moment. I just can't seem to get things right. I think what I really need is the sound advice of a top wine expert...but where am I going to find one of those?'

And Norma had an awful feeling in the pit of 3 of her stomachs.


Armenoi said...

Oh dear. Sir 'Squeeze the juice out of anything on the horizon' should be coming over the horizon any minute then?

Armenoi said...

P.S. I love the snails.

Steve Allender said...

Are you referring to Cyril by any chance?