Monday, 26 May 2014
Armed and fleecy
'And you flick that catch there and it allows you to fire three shots at different ranges,' said Lefty.
'Brilliant!' bleated Flossie.
'And if you press the black button, a tripod drops down so you can use it in a sustained fire role.'
'Terrific!' And if you press the white button?'
'That's a digital radio and one of those things for getting horses hooves out of stones. To be honest, I see that as more of a gimmick.'
'Mmm,' replied Flossie. 'Not sure you'd get a lot of use out of that. I did once serve on a ship that had a horse as 2nd mate. It used to spend all its time running around the deck, jumping over the cannon...and it was rubbish at climbing in the rigging.'
'It sounds nice to have a mix of species,' replied Lefty, 'but statistics prove that all sheep ships work best.'
'You've got my vote on that one,' said Flossie. 'Now, is everyone happy with what they've got?'
And the flock bleated excitedly.
'Lads are very upbeat,' replied Lefty.
'Great news!' said Flossie.
'There's not much doubt that everything is finally going our way,' added Lefty.
'My thoughts exactly,' replied Flossie. 'Although, now I think of it, and apropos of nothing, do we still have that small casket that we found aboard that ship and decided to take with us, even though we never got around to opening it?'
'Strange you should ask that,' said Lefty, 'because I've been carrying it along for weeks now, carefully making sure that it was safe and secure, only to realise, just before you asked, that I appear to have dropped it within the last half hour. I could pop back and find it?'
'No need,' replied Flossie. 'For I'm certain that it can't in any way have any part to play in the future of this adventure and only asked on a whim. I truly and honestly believe that we can carry on without any further thought towards such an insignificant object.'
So that's what they did.