Monday, 30 May 2016
'Now, ma little chums, may I formally welcome you aboard the good ship, 'Purchased Entirely For Educational Purposes'.
'That's really what it's called?' Norma queried.
'Indeed!' Camille replied. 'It came about after the parents of some of ma little students gave me what I believe you would describe as 'a spot of bover'.'
'It's certainly a fine looking ship,' said Bertha.
'It is several thousand tons of luxury cabins, lounge bars, deckchairs and massage rooms,' said Camille, 'which have been purchased entirely for educational purposes.'
'You even have a pool!' Norma mooed.
'Why yes, although this is just the small plunge pool. The big pool is up the pointy end.'
'And the passengers?' Norma asked.
'While we are doing the extensive, four year, sea trials there is just myself.'
'It must take quite a crew to keep it running,' Bertha suggested.
'But luckily ma little students cover all the crewing roles within ma carefully worked out, 'Introduction to Cruise Ship Management Program'. Although they never work more than a twelve hour shift so it's not in any way exploitative.....and I 'ave consulted lawyers.'
'Well, I'm always in favour of getting young people to take responsibility for their own actions,' said Bertha.
'Ma thoughts exactly,' Camille replied. 'It has always been ma 'ope that I will equip them with practical life skills...which don't need any sort of regular testing. And in that spirit young Blanche 'ere will now escort you to your cabins, where you are most welcome to make yourselves at 'ome but I will just point out that any breakages will 'ave to be paid for and I will be counting the towels.'
'I'm sure there won't be any problems,' said Norma. 'We're just grateful to have been rescued.'