Saturday, 14 May 2016
Environmentally friendly pirating
'Then that's where I'd definitely consider using a white gypsophila,' said Flossie, 'it helps to soften the display without distracting the eye from the central themes of the arrangement.'
'I'll try adding some next time around,' Lefty replied. 'We're only three weeks into the course but I've learned so much already.'
'Glad to hear it,' Flossie bleated. 'Now, back to more piratey things. Crew well? Ship safe? Are we making a good speed?'
'To be honest we're not at our swiftest,' said Lefty, 'but we are towing an island.'
'Only to be expected then,' Flossie replied, 'and no reflection on a tip top crew.'
'But we should be home in a day or two,' Lefty added, 'so we're still on schedule.'
'Then we can crack on with phase 2?'
Lefty nodded. 'Just a bit more paperwork to do before then though,' and he passed a form across to Flossie, who read aloud from the top line.
'Environmental Impact Assessment?'
'Basically, we can't introduce new flora or fauna to any of the stolen islands until we've looked at the potential impact on any native species,' Lefty explained.
'Were we planning to?'
'Not really,' Lefty replied, 'but we still have to complete the forms as we could be subject to a random inspection.'
'Hmm,' said Flossie, 'I can see why you're looking for extra help with the admin. Any progress on that?'
'As it happens, yes,' Lefty replied 'I spoke to Harriet and she said she could help. The lambs are much bigger now and she was thinking about a return to diabolically fiendish pirating but didn't feel she could commit to full time, so this could work for both of us.'
'Well, you know I'm all in favour of flexitime if it suits both parties,' said Flossie. 'I'll leave to make the arrangements.'
And the ship sailed on.