Tuesday, 10 May 2016
The evil that (pirate) sheep do
'Har, har, har, har, har, har, har, har, har, har, har, har, har, har, har, har, me hearties!...Actually, I may have gone on a bit there,' said Flossie.
'Sounded fine to me,' Lefty replied.
'Really?' Flossie asked. 'Only I've not done any har, hars for a while and I sort of got carried away.'
'Helps to establish your character though,' Lefty suggested.
'So it does!' Flossie agreed. 'Right, on with the plot?'
'I think so,' said Lefty.
'Ah, me lucky lads and lasses,' Flossie continued, 'Har, har etc, etc. Why bother plundering ships when you can steal whole islands!'
'Well, actually, it does create quite a lot more paperwork,' Lefty replied.
'Does it?' said Flossie. 'That hadn't occurred to me. Meant it as a rhetorical question but now we're here, are you OK with the new found pressure or should we be recruiting some temporary extra admin staff? Hours and remuneration to be agreed but I'm thinking part-time initially with a review after six months.'
'Already sorted,' Lefty bleated, 'Mum said she'd help, didn't you mum? Mum!....MUM!!!!'
'I thought you were getting some new ones for her?' said Flossie.
'I did!' Lefty replied. 'But she said they hurt her ears. MUM!!!! MUM!!!!!!! I think she's nodded off.'
'Still, grand lady,' said Flossie.
'Might be an idea to think about asking someone else to help you though,' Flossie suggested.
'I'll put together a rough job description and run it past you,' Lefty replied.
'No need, you know what you're looking for,' said Flossie. 'Right, everything moving forward and another foolproof piratey plan well underway!'
And the flock bleated it's approval.