Thursday, 12 May 2016
When Cyril sprung
'If I find out that you're involved in this....' said Captain Bill.
Cyril looked hurt.
'I'm hurt,' he said.
'It's the whole island,' Captain Bill continued. 'It's completely disappeared.'
'You can search me if you want to?' Cyril replied. 'But you'll have to promise not to tickle.'
'You could at least try to do something useful to help.'
'Name it?' said Cyril. 'I am ready to leap into action!'
'Like a coiled spring.'
'Coiled,' Cyril replied. 'A coiled spring. I feel the use of the word coiled to be of critical importance,' and he took a long slurp from his drink.
Captain Bill took a step closer to Cyril.
'The only thing about you that's coiled are the layers of fat.'
'Cuddly,' Cyril corrected, 'I'm cuddly. I'd like you to think of me as a giant, cuddly, coiled spring of fun.'
'I fail to see the fun in having the whole island disappear.'
'That's because you take everything far too seriously. I've told you before, you need to relax more.'
'Well, Mr Cuddly,' Captain Bill replied, 'might I just point out that our home has disappeared, that we are now stranded on this sand bar and, if that hasn't already got your attention, there isn't any food!!!!'
And with an air of triumph, Captain Bill walked away.
And moments after he left Cyril tugged over the nearest hat box, lifted up the lid, and took out of it three large lemon drizzle cakes and two bottles of bubbles.