Tuesday, 14 June 2016
This is your Captain speaking
'Levers are overrated anyway,' said Captain Bill.
'You don't think you should try to fix it back on?' Horace asked.
'It's not necessary,' Captain Bill replied. 'They try to over complicate things these days. When I went to Captain's school all they gave you was a knitted compass, a bit of seaweed and one of these twiddly twirly things.'
'A steering wheel?'
'That's it! And we would be expected to find our way anywhere on the high oceans, day or night, in any weather. Navigation is more of an instinctive thing in the best sailors. I could do it blindfolded.'
'Bertha made a remark about you the other day that wasn't dissimilar to that,' Horace observed.
'See!' Captain Bill exclaimed. 'She pretends to be critical of me but she knows a top captain when she sees one. You're born to it really. I don't need a lever to tell me when I need to turn to port or starboliarboliboard.'
'So which direction are we sailing in?'
'Well, after long consideration, careful thought, a measured assessment of the prevailing sea conditions, I thought it best to steer..'
'Not North?' Horace suggested.
'Correct!' Captain Bill mooed.
'Norma said you might be.'
'Again, she's a little too critical at times but she knows who's boss.'
'But these islands that we need to head towards are East & West.'
'Only, as I've explained to Norma, we don't need to go to them.'
'Norma said we still need to.'
'That'll be pride,' Captain Bill replied. 'She doesn't find it easy to admit when she's wrong. Sad really. Now, as you're so interested, would you like a go? Just for a second. You'd be under my supervision at all times.'
'Actually, I think I may just pop along....and see Norma.'
'Fine!' Captain Bill replied. 'Tell her I forgive her over the island thing. That'll boost her morale.'