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How To Communicate With Your Mother


'MUM!' Lefty screamed.

'It is turned on isn't it?' Flossie asked.

'Yes,' Lefty replied.

'Hmm,' Flossie said. 'Volume?'

'Maximum,' Lefty replied.

'Hmm,' Flossie said.

'MUM!!' Lefty screamed.

'Perhaps if you put her hearing aids in as well?' Flossie suggested.

'They're in,' Lefty bleated. 'I've checked.'

'Hmm,' Flossie said.

'Maybe if I could get the megaphone working?' Lefty mused.

'Hmm,' Flossie said.

'MUM!!!' Lefty screamed.

'Ah!' Flossie said.

'What?'

'I thought she moved?'

'Really?' Lefty asked.

'Just for a moment,' Flossie replied. '..................She is awake isn't she?'

'Difficult to tell these days,' Lefty said.

'Perhaps,' Flossie bleated, 'and I don't wish for one moment to suggest she's not up to doing it but perhaps we might consider getting her to do something else?'

'Such as?' Lefty asked.

'Lighting?' Flossie suggested.

'Oh!' Lefty replied. 'That could be tricky, I've already got someone else on that.'

'Who?' Flossie asked.

'Hooky,' Lefty replied.


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