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When It's In The Bag!


'Lost for words,' Lefty bleated.

'I can't recall seeing anything more moving,' Flossie added and he dabbed a hanky to his eye patch.

Lefty wrote 'Star material' on the form in front of him and thanked Geraldine for coming. Geraldine responded with a dignified curtsy and made her way from the stage.

'Next please!' Flossie called out and Camille took the stage accompanied by her pupils.

'Bonjour,' she began, 'I am 'appy to announce that ma little students, all of whom 'ave considerable acting experience, are now at your disposal.'

'Right...' Flossie began but before he could get any further he noticed Lefty trying to attract his attention.

'Not sure how we'd stand with health and safety,' Lefty explained, 'what with them being so young.'

'Ah!' Flossie replied.

'I think,' Lefty continued and here he quickly looked through a thick folder to find the relevant page, 'we'd need a consent form signed by a parent?'

'Oh!' Flossie said.

'I 'ave them!' Camille called out. ''ere.........in ma 'andbag.'

'We'd need to see them,' Lefty replied.

'But of course,' Camille mooed.

'Now?' Flossie suggested.

'........................I will need to find them,' Camille replied. 'It is a very deep 'andbag.'

'Doesn't look that deep,' Lefty said.

'Oh, it is!' Camille replied. 'it is very deep, much deeper than it appears. It contains over 200 slightly different lipsticks and once I found an 'hole Christmas cake at the bottom of it....and it is difficult to open......in fact I need to oil it.'

'We may have some oil,' Lefty offered.

'It must be special oil,' Camille explained, '.............'andbag oil. I 'ave some in the field we are staying in. I will do it later on and then bring the forms to you first thing tomorrow, all signed, and everything will be just perfect. Also, may I add that as a teacher I am forbidden to lie in any way whatsoever so everything I 'ave said is completely true.'

And so after a brief conversation between Flossie, Lefty and Hooky, Flossie said that that would be perfectly acceptable. 

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